Jack is already well renowned among our friends for his peeing into a bucket story and then further for his innovative use of the space behind a chair as a location. Time to add a new punchline to the mix.
I had just come home from taking Jack to the movies — Tron: Legacy — a nice father-son movie, actually. Upon our return, we shed boots and coats and gloves and I announced that I had to go to the bathroom. Jack followed me in. “I need to go too.” Well, sure, we’re already in father-son mode, why not cross the streams together? We both line up at the toilet for what I’m sure will be yet another classic moment in father-son history. (And no, I did not throw a cheerio in the toilet as a target.)
Jack, known for occasionally peeing on toilet seats and nearby floors, is first. Perfect shot, straight in the middle. Initially anxious to set a good example, now I’m anxious to follow his. Maybe TOO anxious.
Oops. I spray a little, hitting the sided of the toilet as well as the middle. So much for setting a good example. I laugh a little and apologize to Jack. “Oops, darn it, I guess I missed a little.”
“That’s okay, Dad, that happens to me all the time too.” (Yeah, I know.)
Realizing that I may still salvage a teaching moment out of this, as we finish up I go into lecture voice. “Y’know, son, lemme show you what to do when that happens. You take some toilet paper, about this much, see? And you double it up. Then you wipe, wipe, wipe around the toilet seat to clean it all up, and throw the toilet paper into the toilet. See? No problem.”
Jack nods absently at my narration as he finishes buttoning his pants. He shrugs. Just before he runs off to play Legos or Wii or what-have-you, he gives me his own parting words of wisdom:
“Oh… I just use the towels.” He motions to the hand towels and the shower towels — you know, the ones I wiped my face on this morning — and leaves me in the bathroom, mouth agape.