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Archive for the ‘One-liners’ Category

“I can tell when I don’t have my glasses on, or when they’re dirty.  When they’re clean and I’m wearing them, everything is crispier.”

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Overheard from the four year old and the mother this morning:

“I jus’ throwin’ my pull-up away downstairs.  Can you putta marble in da bowl for me?”

“Dad, can I have some tea?  Not some pee — some tea.  Dose rhyme, you know!”

“Yeah… it’s a drive-the-kids-to-school sort of morning.”

“Mo-ooom!  Can I have a waffle to ‘tart me over?”

“Do you think anyone else’s children love to eat frozen waffles as a snack?”

“Da-aaad!  We just saw a RED blue jay outside!”

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This evening I gently corrected my older son by telling him the words he wanted were “co-pilot” and “cockpit.” This correction was necessary since, as the boys played with their action figures and a few vehicles, the older son was telling the younger one that he could be the “cock pilot.”

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‎”I love you as high as candy corn,” said Jack to Katherine. Then he thought a moment, and amended, “Well, maybe THE SAME HEIGHT as candy corn.”

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Jack and Peter are finishing a 25-piece puzzle together. With the last piece in hand, Jack turns to Peter, holds the piece before them, and says, “May I have the honors, Peter?” Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff.

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“I really need to piss,” Jack said, apropos of nothing.

“Uhhh… what?” I not-so-cleverly responded.

“I said I really need to piss.  Like in Cyberchase,” he continued on.

Figuring that an educational children’s cartoon probably did NOT teach him that word, I pressed on.  “That doesn’t sound like the right word.  What do you think they said again?”

“You know… get up and piss.  Piss?  Pahs?  Maybe it was pahs.  Like, walk back and forth?”  He gets up and begins to demonstrate.

Relieved, I correct him.  “PACE.  You needed to pace.  That’s the word you wanted.”

Jack smiled.  “Oh yeah, pace.  I really need to pace.  That’s what she did in the show so she could think.”

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One of Peter’s favorite new tricks is to stand on my back like it’s a stage as I lie on our bed.  He then looks in the mirror, puts on a big smile, and proclaims, “Hi, kids!  Welcome to Harry Potter’s Poopy Pants Party.”  He then dive-bombs off my back onto the bed as he and Jack giggle hysterically.

No, I have no idea either.

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